Today's blog was written by Steven Perkins, M.Ed., BCBA, LBA, who is one of the ABA Program Consultants at Green Box ABA PLLC
I loved theatre growing up and
started joining Saturday morning theatre groups at a very young age. We learned to sing, dance, and act; I felt so
at home on the stage. I was convinced that theatre would be my future—my
career. I would perform songs at family reunions, make home movies with
neighborhood kids, and act in every school play. Right before 4th
grade, we moved to a different neighborhood, and I had to switch schools. There,
I met a boy named Chris. Chris inspired me in so many ways, including helping
me see where I wanted to direct my life down the road.
Chris was a boy my age with Down’s Syndrome who lived down the street from our new house. When we met, he didn’t have a lot of friends and since I had just moved, I didn’t know anyone. We started to do fun activities together like sleepovers, spending days at the pool, and going to the movies. Looking back, Chris had good communication skills and some age appropriate interests. We were similar in that our age appropriate interests and ability to interact with our peer group were more limited than others. We spent a majority of our time just the two of us.
By the time middle school came around, Chris and I had become best friends. In 6th grade, more opportunities opened up as kids gained independence and could begin choosing electives or sports teams. Chris and I were nervous to branch out, but our parents encouraged us to join more activities with our peers. I wanted to do choir as my school elective, and Chris wanted to join Boy Scouts for an after school activity. We each agreed to join both to go through them together.
It was during these middle school years that I realized my passion for helping individuals with disabilities. I never saw Chris as “that kid” in our class that looked and acted a little different; I saw him as my best friend. I saw him as someone I could open up to and count on. I saw him as my equal, or even more so, I looked up to him.
In middle school, I helped the guidance counselor set up the “lunch buddies” club where Chris chose a few friends and we would all have lunch in her office once a week. Most other days, Chris and I sat by ourselves in the cafeteria. In Boy Scouts, we were nervous to go on a week long camping trip, but then I won “Scout of the Summer” at the closing ceremony. The camp applauded me for being one of the only scouts to consistently help Chris with activities that were harder for him.
My family moved again when I was 15, so Chris and I went to different high schools. We unfortunately lost touch over time, but his mom kept me up to date about life milestones like his first girlfriend, earning his Eagle Scout merit senior year, and moving away to attend college at Old Dominion University. He sent me a friend request on Facebook a few years ago and he will post the occasional picture, primarily of he and his current long-term girlfriend.
I continued to do theatre productions throughout high school and even double majored in Theatre and Psychology in college, but gradually continued to shift my focus to special education. I have now worked in both private and public schools and am currently employed as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst for a company that provides Applied Behavior Analysis services. Perhaps this was always my path, but I believe that Chris helped shape my future and provided me with the passion to help other individuals with disabilities.
Looking back, I am certain my friendship with Chris strengthened many skills that I use on a daily basis in my profession. Chris helped teach me patience, kindness, perseverance, gratitude, compassion and ambition. No matter where life takes each of us, Chris’s impact on my life and passion will last forever. He helped teach me to strive for what may seem unreachable, to be proud of every accomplishment, and that everyone should be treated equally.
Chris was a boy my age with Down’s Syndrome who lived down the street from our new house. When we met, he didn’t have a lot of friends and since I had just moved, I didn’t know anyone. We started to do fun activities together like sleepovers, spending days at the pool, and going to the movies. Looking back, Chris had good communication skills and some age appropriate interests. We were similar in that our age appropriate interests and ability to interact with our peer group were more limited than others. We spent a majority of our time just the two of us.
By the time middle school came around, Chris and I had become best friends. In 6th grade, more opportunities opened up as kids gained independence and could begin choosing electives or sports teams. Chris and I were nervous to branch out, but our parents encouraged us to join more activities with our peers. I wanted to do choir as my school elective, and Chris wanted to join Boy Scouts for an after school activity. We each agreed to join both to go through them together.
It was during these middle school years that I realized my passion for helping individuals with disabilities. I never saw Chris as “that kid” in our class that looked and acted a little different; I saw him as my best friend. I saw him as someone I could open up to and count on. I saw him as my equal, or even more so, I looked up to him.
In middle school, I helped the guidance counselor set up the “lunch buddies” club where Chris chose a few friends and we would all have lunch in her office once a week. Most other days, Chris and I sat by ourselves in the cafeteria. In Boy Scouts, we were nervous to go on a week long camping trip, but then I won “Scout of the Summer” at the closing ceremony. The camp applauded me for being one of the only scouts to consistently help Chris with activities that were harder for him.
My family moved again when I was 15, so Chris and I went to different high schools. We unfortunately lost touch over time, but his mom kept me up to date about life milestones like his first girlfriend, earning his Eagle Scout merit senior year, and moving away to attend college at Old Dominion University. He sent me a friend request on Facebook a few years ago and he will post the occasional picture, primarily of he and his current long-term girlfriend.
I continued to do theatre productions throughout high school and even double majored in Theatre and Psychology in college, but gradually continued to shift my focus to special education. I have now worked in both private and public schools and am currently employed as a Board Certified Behavior Analyst for a company that provides Applied Behavior Analysis services. Perhaps this was always my path, but I believe that Chris helped shape my future and provided me with the passion to help other individuals with disabilities.
Looking back, I am certain my friendship with Chris strengthened many skills that I use on a daily basis in my profession. Chris helped teach me patience, kindness, perseverance, gratitude, compassion and ambition. No matter where life takes each of us, Chris’s impact on my life and passion will last forever. He helped teach me to strive for what may seem unreachable, to be proud of every accomplishment, and that everyone should be treated equally.
Wonderful post Steven!! You and Chris gave each other an invaluable gift of unconditional love at a time where, developmentally, support and positive peer encouragement is so necessary. You are an amazing giver!
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